A couple weeks ago, I competed as a lead in a fun little Jack & Jill at the Omaha Jitterbugs’ Christmas party.  I say ‘little’ because well, there’s probably no friendlier audience and lower stakes than that homey atmosphere surrounded by your home scene.  I love that the Jitterbugs hold these from time to time because it gives casual or beginner dancers the opportunity to step out of their comfort zone and try competing.  I think many dancers see as I do the difference between dancing socially just for your partner and dancing in a competition where your choices and skills are judged.  And even as competitions go, the Jack and Jill is right down the middle of social and competitive dancing in that, well, it mimics social dancing.

I was really happy to see some of the newer dancers entering.  My words of wisdom? Pretend you’re not competing, and just focus on having fun and dancing with your partner.  (Sound advice, I think, for this level of competition and even up into most amateur Jacks and Jills.  I think once you go pro or start competing in the pro/advanced circuit more competition strategy is required, but then, well, you’re advanced now.  You probably also practice.)

I’ve been dancing since 2001 and Jack and Jills don’t make me nervous anymore.  But I had the butterflies this time around because I’d decided that in this safe little Jack and Jill I was going to step out and compete as a lead.  I’ve been riding this intersection for awhile, this social lead and social follow balance beam and I’ve always felt very cozy playing that role among my familiar friends.  But it’s kind of a controversial issue sometimes.  I can’t help but understand that in leading I am committing a political act and gender-bending.  What I want is to be watched and considered as any other lead up there, but no matter really what I do I am the ‘Woman Lead’ and my presence there has meaning that perhaps my dancing or intentions don’t.  In stepping out there as a lead, in putting my name on that side of the list, I’m notable, or at least that’s the social pressure I perceive.  I’m competing as a lead to put my skills to the test, experience a much-loved competition format from the other side.  But I think I also competed to show myself and others that I can lead, to perform an example of something different.

I’ve only been turned down once as a lead asking a woman to follow.  But I’ve been turned down tons of times as a follow asking a man to lead.  The sample size of that really just doesn’t compare so I don’t find it useful.  For the most part I get positive comments from the women follows I dance with in classes and on the social floor.  Some of them seem surprised that I can lead so directly or firmly.  I attribute this to my years’ experience and having been a follow and knowing what feels right – both advantages over the intermediate leads I’m in class with.

I think it’s very significant to note that I am by far NOT the only female lead in the Omaha scene.  (I’ve admired Christy V’s leading for years.) I would chance to say that something like a third of the women who have been dancing there for at least a couple of years lead capably and frequently socially, and there was even another woman leading in this Jack and Jill we’re talking about.  I am not some strange animal  in my scene or in the scene at large, but I am probably the loudest.  (The men in Omaha follow from time to time as well, and some of them are quite good at it.)

All that said, I competed as a lead in the Jack and Jill and wowy zowie! What a crazy experience! Jacking was notably different from Jilling especially in the spotlights of the finals.  Grow a beard and call me Dumbledore, I have NO idea how to compose a spotlight.   See, as a follow, I know EXACTLY how to do a spotlight.  I can’t even articulate it, it’s so natural to what I’m used to.  I complete and add to patterns, I watch the lead LIKE A HAWK, and stay grounded.  I listen to the music in such a way that I am able to bring in expressiveness that my lead can participate in.  I don’t know.  I GET following.  But boy did I have no idea how it felt from a leads’ perspective.

Quick thoughts about leading vs following in a Jack and Jill:

• It makes it so much easier if you just trust your follow.  I became so much less head-spacey when I just lead because my partners just followed! They did their part, they really did feel like an equal partner who was taking care of business on the other end.  It wasn’t really all that scary or tricky initiating most everything because my partners were on the other end dancing just as much as I was.  Maybe that sounds obvious, but experiencing what I know to be true (I handle my shit as a follow.) from the lead’s perspective painted a very clear picture of what it meant.
• I didn’t feel at all out of place or ill-prepared in the ‘all-skates’ parts of the competition.  I had long stretches of music to compose to.  I could listen and play and had time to get used to what kind of dancer my partner was.
• It’s not cheating: I asked my partner questions and talked to them while we danced.  From ‘do you do swing outs?’ to prompts and preparations like, ‘okay ready?’ to cue something strange coming up that I wanted to try. One of my partners was very new to dancing and so I talked her through a bunch of stuff and she was a champion who really seemed to ‘get’ swing dancing already, so it was a real pleasure.
• Oh yay! I got to swing out in the final ‘all-skate’! Like here, like here. I know enough of the California routine as a lead to be a part of that awesome homage to community, history, and just crank out the best swing outs I could.
• I ended up placing second and winning a snuggie.
• There were feelings I had that I didn’t really want to have or acknowledge, but in full honesty, I kind of felt like… a trespasser.  Like some kind of jerk for crossing over and taking the chance to win from male leads, who in my brain, had more right to be there than I did.  I know these feelings are insecurities that shouldn’t mean anything to me, but they do.  They’re the echoes not of the way anyone treated me, but echoes of the social dialogs we hear all the time when men and women cross lines and ‘invade’ the others’ space.  Those thoughts were there and made me nervous.  There was a part of me that didn’t WANT to make finals and place myself in that political space of who belonged there.  But there was also a part of me that wanted to win and ‘show’em all’.  But really, who would I be showing? Certainly not the men in my scene – they’re personal friends many of them, good sports all, none of them having ever treated me in a way that made me feel unwelcome.  So yes – I had many thoughts about the event, such a small, fun little event.  But I had these thoughts just the same.  I felt like there were things at work other than opposite footworks, y’know?
• All told, it was a positive experience, and in thinking about why it really boiled down to how fun my partners were to dance with - just like when I follow.  The excitement and surprise of what we made together, and that giddiness of something new being created from an inkling of an idea.  The completeness of unity between partners and music.

*Photos by Jen Weinlaub.

In modern Lindy Hop, most people’s entrance into the community is through a class.  I think perhaps Back In The Day, you just got out on the floor and learned ‘in the wild’.  But Nowadays, instructors rule our world.

Good and bad, right? I think having instructors as the leaders gives Lindy Hop an attitude of constant learning and sharing.  Education is at the root of our gatherings so frequently. (Think how often classes are involved in events and weekends.)  I think the more we learn how to dance, the better language/tools we have to dance awesome and collaborate.

But on the other hand, with so much influence and power in the hands of instructors – they are the faces and the voices of how to dance, how to act, how to look -  they can perpetuate a lot of negative things, maybe codifying a certain technique as Correct when it could essentially be a fad, or propagating harmful stereotypes about dancers or style.  (This is why Sarah Breck took so much heat for her comments about high heels – she has clout as a travelling performer and teacher and there was an expectation that her advice would be of higher quality than many people thought it was.)

Also consider the monopoly teachers have on our world.  The same people who are teaching at an event are also judging the competitions.

I’ve watched dance classes with eyes on the instruction for many years and my impression is that many of the teachers don’t seem to acknowledge the incredible influence they have on their students in terms of attitude and community initiation.  Or perhaps they do understand their influence, but not how their words and actions affect their students.

From a 30 minute pre-dance crash course, to Masters classes at major events, our dance teachers are teaching us more than moves.  By their example and their language they teach their students how to relate to Lindy Hop and to each other.

For most Lindy Hoppers, an instructor has at least for some time served as a role-model.  I think it begins with admiration of their dancing, but it can easily carry over to behavior, fashion, attitudes about the purpose of Lindy Hop, and how their gender is performed in the swing scene’s context.

Other than just being a dancer, my identity in this dance (and in life) is as a facilitator and teacher.  I have been teaching locally in Iowa and Nebraska for about 7 years and I love it and want to do more.  I acknowlege and embrace my special role as gatekeeper to the community.  I want to be the one to show people how amazing Lindy Hop is, and how they can and should make their own path, and be the best person/dancer they can be here.  I want women and men to know that they don’t have to conform to a single way of gender performance; I want them to know that Lindy Hop is for everyone.

So the central issue of my discussion: How do teachers treat negative stereotypes of gender in Lindy Hop? What unhealthy attitudes could they normalizing about social dancing, our community and the way men and women ought to behave?

Words

At the most basic level, an instructors’ words can normalize the idea that women are automatically follows and men are automatically leads.  ”All men stand over here, women over there.” “Ladies, I want to see good footwork!”  ”Lead like the men you are! With purpose! Conviction!”  An instructor can make a very different impression if they remove gendered definitions for their dancers.  Just stick to ‘lead’ and ‘follow’ and give the dancer the freedom to define their own gender.  Our dance roles might be binary, but our gender isn’t.   Start right away in that beginner class – when asking students to divide up for footwork, use our lead/follow vocabulary.  And allow people to choose their own partners for those first couple minutes – they’ll partner in the way that’s most comfortable and natural to them.

Something wild to try could be letting the students try both sides during the course of the lesson.  It’s not so much a problem of instruction (how to teach both sides?)  but of people-moving and organization (how do accomplish my goals with these space and time challenges?).  Logistically, we’re not at all used to that format in the very formulaic classes we see, but c’mon – we’re creative and flexible dancers.  I think we can figure something out.

On a more serious line of discussion, I’ve heard some really rotten things said to beginners, apparently with the intention to lighten the mood, or simply a concept.  Not only do I see instructors frequently gender their instruction, they sexualize it, normalizing a very hetero and inequitable relationship of dance partners to each other.

That sad explanation of leading and following along the lines of, “Gentlemen, you are the leads in this dance! Finally, you’re in change of something in your relationship.” And everyone laughs nervously.

Or when discussion were that hand on the back goes, or how to avoid the ‘Accidental Boob Grap’ how it becomes about men having to tip-toe around the women lest they get slapped and labeled as a creeper.  There are MUCH better reasons we hold the back where we do, and for the follow to turn to face the lead on the swing out – connection! And that reason is frankly a thousand times more useful than a stupid joke about sex and stereotypes.  (EDIT: And I must add as per Dog Possum’s recent post about sexual abuse on the dance floor, these jokes don’t actually raise any awareness of advocating for your own boundaries and dignity – they make inappropriate contact a joke.)

What’s so frustrating is that in many of these examples, I know that the instructor is probably just making a joke and they don’t really perceive their partners or themselves that way.  (Or maybe they do?) But what they don’t realize is that their students are taking it all in.  They are in an unfamiliar environment and they really really want to fit in.  They want to do everything right, they want to know how to behave and they’re going to look to their instructors for clues about what’s expected and appropriate in this community.  The students do, on some level, take these jokes for serious.

Class Content

Dance content for leads always seems to contain the elements of the analytic ‘male’ mind – very technique driven – it’s about what you do, it’s about the content.  Follow instruction is typically more ‘soft’ in that the technique is less concrete, if any technique is discussed at all.  The role of the follow in class is often to ‘not think’, as so many teachers describe following especially in beginner classes.

Following is extremely technical as I’ve experienced it – Lindy Hop is a very technical dance.  Even in a beginner class we could start introducing the typically female experience of following as a deep, active experience.  Talk to them about adapting their footwork clearly, about matching and activating points of connection, how to turn and keep your balance.  But instead so much of what I see all the way through all the skill levels is an emphasis on how follows should look.   Recently at Hawkeye Swing Fest back in April, they scheduled a class that was one whole hour of how Nina Gilkenson swivels.  Attendance was maxed out.  In the same block of time? The Leads were invited to Everything Leads Need to Know with Andy Reid, a class that talked about connection, rhythm, line and composing movements.  Ass-shaking for the ladies.  Learning to dance for the men.  (From what I hear, the swivel class was a pretty candid self-assessment by Nina – ‘I belly dance, so my swivels are affected by the muscles and techniques I take from that.  That’s my influence. That’s my body.  So let’s do some of that.’) (Did not get a low-down account of Andy’s class.) What concerns me isn’t what Nina and Andy chose to do in their classes (because the class schedule is often lined up by event organizers), it concerns me that these two classes were set opposite each other as equal.

The primary content for follows should not be formulaic variations, their primary mode of contribution should not simply be the open part of a swing-out.  They participate in every moment – we should teach about every moment.  We should teach them how to add their creative input and contribute equally to the dance.

Don’t make swivels a sexual performance for the lead to watch, as a reward for all their hard work coming up with all the moves.  Please, please, please.  That is weird as hell.  I hear that said in classes all the time and I’m aghast.   Please don’t say that stuff.  Don’t make follows for that.

Using words like ‘hijack’ and ‘backleading’ give the impression that a follow’s initiations are destructively disruptive when they really aren’t.  We should treat follow moves exactly like lead moves and do our best to include them as frequently as possible.

Who Is Teaching

Almost always, the teachers for a dance class are a male lead and a female follow.  This does make an impression.  This does show students that women progress to excel only as follows and males progress to excel only as leads.  It’s not wrong for a women to become an excellent dedicated follow, but the status quo sort of… begets more of that.  Without alternate examples of role-models it can be more difficult for new dancers to see that the other options out there really are viable.  That’s why all the dancers in this YouTube playlist are so cool – it shows people rocking hard in the ‘other’ role.  Shows it can be done and be all badass.

This is also why I was so stoked to see what was called the Leading Ladies workshop in Seattle Washington.  Rebecca DecaVita and Kelly Porter – two accomplished female leads – invited women in the area to come learn to lead Lindy Hop.

*Strange Footnote

I think me and Dog Possom were on some strange extra-universe wavelenth.  Just as I’ve been working through writing this post, Possum comes up with a great article about Sexual Abuse in the dance community and has a paragraph on this very topic I’m addressing.

Dance classes are important. Dance classes are a key point in the socialising of new dancers. How do the male lead and female follower model appropriate behaviour on and off the dance floor? Who does most of the talking in class? Who interrupts who, and how often, and how? Who makes the jokes? Who’s the butt of the joke? What type of jokes are they? Is there sexualised talk or joking? What sort of language do teachers use to refer to gender or to leading and following? What analogies do they use? How do they dress? How old are they? What are their relative ages? Where are they teaching? What material are they teaching? Who are the dancers they mention?

I especially like the part that mentions what other dancers they reference.  We hear a lot about Al Minns, Leon James, Frankie Manning, Dean Collins, but we hear significantly less about the mothers of our dance.  Luckily Bobby White and Dog Possum are setting us straight!

What Now?

I don’t want this post to be so much of a You Are All Bad Stoppit as a We Can Do Great Things For Students Of Lindy Hop.  We can make class more valuable and build a more accessible, welcoming community by looking at the role of instructors in our scene and using their powers for good.  We don’t want our instructors to fall back on the traditional dance teacher models we might take from ballroom dancing or Olden Times, formats and ideals that make light of important issue, ignore the diversity of our dancing population, and ultimately give new dancers the wrong idea.

We want our instructors to see the influence they have and be creative and purposeful with how they teach and how they behave in a class situation.

I’ve collected some YouTube clips of Lindy Hop partnerships where women are leading, and men are following.  Some of them are social clips, others choreographed for competitions, and still others are improvised jam-style competitions.  They are all of same sex couples – I didn’t find any examples of a woman/lead male/follow partnership.  A couple clips feature two same sex couples.

1. Rebecka and Emelie DecaVita in the 2009 Killer Diller Harvest Moon Competition.  Their first shine starts at 3:16 and they come in again at 5:20.

2. Max Pitruzzella & Alain Wong‘s showcase for the 2008 Candadian Swing Championship.

3. Max Pitruzzella & Thomas Blacharz doing a parody of a Kevin & Carla routine.  It’s way old, went viral and was probably first Lindy Hop video I ever saw online.

4. Rebecka & Emelie DecaVita’s Showcase at the 2010 Ultimate Lindy Hop Showdown.

5. Dawn Hamption, Steven Mitchell, Virginie Jensen & Frida Segerdahl at 2010 Lindy Diversion.  Dawn starts leading at 1:15.

6, 7, 8.  Rebecka & Emelie DecaVita in the 2010 ULHS Quarter Finals

9 and 10. Rebecka & Emelie DecaVita, and Daniel Wegan & Guiseppe Olla, competing in 2009 in the Stockholm Open.  DecaVitas start at :35 and the men come in right after.

11. Carla Heiney & Kelly Arsenault, and Andy Reid & Max Pitruzzella in the 2011 Lindy Focus Invitational Jack and Jill Jam. The Carla and Kelly go out at 1:16, and at 1:30 the Andy and Max join them.

12. Carla Heiney & Kelly Arsenault in the 2011 Lindy Focus Balboa Finals.

13. Adam Lee and Voon Wei social dancing at the Frim Fram in 2010.

14. Mia Goldsmith and Andy Stockdale social dancing in New Orleans in 2008.

15. Dax Hock and Max Pitruzzella dancing in the 2009 Underground Jitterbug Championship Finals.

16: Women dancing together in the 1940s (?)

17: Many women leading and following each other in a clip from the 1939 world’s fair.  Swing outs come in at around 1:35.

18. Jam at the Midwest Lindy Fest 2010. At 0:12 a woman steals in as a lead.  What’s her name? At 0:28 another woman steals in as a lead.  What’s her name? At 0:54 Max Pitruzella follows Carl Nelson. At 1:04, Jon Tigert gives it a try.

19. Performance at Lindy Focus X.  Kevin St. Laurent and Shesha Marvin in a choreographed routine.

20. Wilhelm Novák & Guiseppe Olla in the 2011 Harlem Jack & Jill in Sweden.  I think it’s notable that this is a Jack & Jill and the partners are chosen at random – so this is not a team necessarily who dance together often, nor is it choreographed.

21. Laura Glaess leading Jessica Yoon at Authentic Jazz Weekend in 2013 in Korea.

I’ll update the playlist when I find more.  Did I miss one you like? Let me know!

I take Yehoodi for what it is.  And I take articles like the ancient 10 Reasons for what they are as well.  I am going to engage, but gently.

The 10 Reasons

Yehoodi Thread

My comments:

++ There is more than one type of relationship between men and women other than sexual pursuit or performance. Men and women can be siblings, friends, teacher/student. Lindy Hop and other male/female partner dancing is not only for simulating heterosexual relationships.

++ There are many ways for a man to be a man, and a woman to be a woman. Femininity is not always about prettiness, nurture or passivity. Masculinity is not bound by decisiveness, strength, or power. There is not a correct way for a woman to be a woman or a man to be a man.

++ In separating lead/follow from man/woman we are not attempting to remove expression of gender in Lindy Hop. We can still express our femininity by leading and masculinity in following. Doing that part of the footwork or being that part of the pattern does not require a specific gender performance. I can be pretty in my heels and skirt and dance a flirty, pretty dance with another woman doing the same thing. I have seen two men Lindy Hop with aggression and power, neither of them being more ‘feminine’ than the other simply because one was following.

++ When we continually say “This is the way things are!” like in the 10 Reasons and in many defenses of strict gender roles in Lindy Hop, we DO remove a level of choice from the community. Why do most women choose to follow? There are many reason, probably the first of them is not really knowing that they have a viable option otherwise. They do not see role-models in their teachers, they do not see women competing as leads on YouTube. The amount of information we have limits our choice. So insisting that This Is Just The Way Things Are is in conflict with You Can Do Whatever You Want. To really give free choice for all dancers to express their gender and choose their role in Lindy Hop we should table things like 10 Reasons.

Penguin’s Blog Post Which Is Awesome

Just going to leave this here and link to it in my little timeline on the topic of gender/feminism in Lindy Hop.  I should make a new post for that.

EDIT:  Jo Hoffberg re-posted the article as well, and dancers discussed it there in the comments.

Aside from performance or competition* most Lindy Hop doesn’t rely on one partner being stronger or more massive than the other partner. A swing out more requires coordination, cooperation, personal balance and the efficient exchange of energy, than the exerting of one’s power onto another.

I keep hearing this idea as the strongest argument for men to always lead, that they are stronger. But we don’t need to be strong to lead.

I’m a woman and I can lead anyone who can follow. I don’t have to be stronger.

If we have a partnership that requires the lead to muscle the follow around, that isn’t good Lindy Hopping – we know that. Good Lindy Hop is about control and cooperation. If you’re fighting each other, you’re not doing it right anyway.

*In regards to performance and competition, there is already physical conditioning/training that goes on at some level. Aerials are acrobatics. Aerials do require a solid base and a controlled flier – but that doesn’t predicate male or female in either role. Every single body is different and we train and choreograph scenarios that work for our bodies. We all always adjust for everyone always.

 

Emily Steinbeigle is researching the lead/follow experience in its relation to gender.  Via a popular Facebook page “Bug’s Question of the Day” she posed some questions.  Facebook is hard to keep track of once the moment has passed, and I also can’t make fancy headings and bullet points there.  So I’m posting my response on my blog.  But you can ‘Like’ Bug’s page, or join Emily’s group to contribute your own thoughts.

Her quest seems directly relevant to the discourse goin’ on in the broader Lindy Hop Internet Verse.  You can follow along here via the list at the end of the post.

In a social dance atmosphere, what is the role of the lead?

Here is the way it IS:  The leads are in charge of the dance, and decide what happens.  The lead should connect to the follow well so that the lead can communicate his choices.  The lead is sometimes encouraged to listen to the follows’ ideas and give the follows space to express their ideas.  The lead very literally leads.

That’s not the way it has to be, and that’ s not the reality for many dancers.  But this is what we teach our beginners.  This is what gets rewarded in J&Js.  This is the image we choose to make our celebrities.

In a social dance atmosphere, what is the role of the follow?

Here is the way it IS: The follows receive and complete the leads’ ideas.  The follow’s role is to be supple and available to be lead at any moment during the dance.  The follow is encouraged to express theirself only so long as it does not disrupt, change or ignore the lead’s ideas.  Follows follow.

That’s not the way it has to be, and that’s not what reality is for many dancers.  But this is what we teach our beginners.  This is what get’s rewarded in J&Js. This is the image we choose to make our celebrities.

Do you believe that dancer’s gender should determine, or have any effect on, their decision to lead or follow?

Absolutely not.  Not even a smidgeon! All people of any gender should be able to freely choose whether to lead and follow in any given dance.  Our dance culture, dance teachers, competitions organizers and dancers at large should not define leading/following as gendered roles.

There is nothing about a men’s body type or brains that make him more oriented towards leading or less towards following.  There is nothing about a women’s body type or brains that make her more oriented towards following or less towards leading.  This is mostly likely to get the most disagreement, that typically men are stronger so they are more fit to be the post and the initiator of energy, the base of aerials, and so on.  But when we go out into the real world, the bodies of the men and women dancing span the spectrum.  I know of a tiny little dude who leads women much bigger than he is – his body type has not given him a proclivity for leading, but he does it amazingly anyway.  When we cooperate and are both aware of the connection, when leading isn’t about forcing or heaving or hauling or pulling, the strength issue starts disappearing.  So if it’s a question of strength that men lead why don’t we have students do some push ups on their first day to see who’s strongest?  That sounds silly because obviously strength isn’t why men lead and women follow.  And neither is looking good, ability to move the hips, flexibility.  If the literal size and shape of our bodies had anything to do with it, then we’d be doing things differently.

Because our tradition is based on sexism, following was created to be the feminine (passive, pretty, obedient) and leading was created to be masculine (active, strong, decisive).  But these stereotypical qualities of gender are only one way to express the feminine and masculine and ultimately hurt people of all genders.

Women are more likely to lead because it is more acceptable for a woman to take on masculine traits.  Their community is less likely to punish a masculine woman than a feminine man.  Plus, two women dancing together is non-threatening and ‘hot’.   However, because our culture is misogynist, to be feminine is to possess undesirable qualities.  And so men are punished for expressing qualities that are considered feminine, and so there are fewer men who follow.   (I also acknowledge that in most scenes there are more women than men, and so learning to lead can be a necessity if you want to dance.  But if there are men to dance with, women will lead less often.  There are only one or two significant instances of women leading (and succeeding) in a rockstar level contest.   And it is a woman leading a woman, not a woman leading a man.  I do not know of any Lindy Hop contests that have featured a top competitor male following. Provide examples if you know different.)

Do you think there is “feminine” or “masculine” movement?

No.  Feminine and Masculine movement as we tend to think of it is just expressing a heteronormative ideal.  There are trends that lead to generalizations about what our bodies are capable of, what they look good doing, but again – practically this all goes to rot.  Our bodies are all different and our movement shouldn’t be defined with those nasty boxes, but with actual, useful description.

This is more about the intersection of gender issues and Lindy Hop, especially as it pertains to following.  As this discussion has had time to sink in and I’ve had time to take in the reactions, I’ve found I have more to say.  And again, the purpose of my blog is to process my experience as a participate in my chosen art forms.  These aren’t academic papers.  I’m not summoning the work of philosophers and thinkers past.  I’m reacting to my experiences in art and dancing as honestly as I can, and as orderly as I can.  It’s both about reflecting for myself and sharing those experiences with others who might read here.

Responses

I’ve been directly responded to on my blog and on others’.  I’ve been indirectly referenced a few times more.  I’ve exchanged emails with other dancers who I don’t know.  I’ve discussed the situation with dancers I do know, and have been relayed conversations that others have had about the topic, and about my contributions specifically.

I’m hearing other women feel validated and supported, and so in turn, I feel validated and supported.  It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who’s felt discomfort with the way women are expected to behave on the dance floor.  They’ve also shared their experiences about how they cope with it, and who their favorite dance partners are and why.  I am surprised by responses from women that indicate they are more comfortable not making choices in the dance.

I’ve also been called out directly and obliquely around the internet and I was reminded that when we are honest about ourselves we risk others being douchebags to us.  The hostility with which my comments that ask for women to be treated equally in our dance community have been recieved is confusing and startling.  I don’t know what people are afraid of and why my comments are so threatening.

The response from men has been pretty varied.  The most acerbic attacks have been from the guys, but I’ve also heard of some agreement as well.  Although my sense from most of the men (not all!) has been a kind of… lack of understanding or awareness of what’s actually going on with following.  Dunno.

Girl Groups

Gabi of the Sweethearts of Rhythm wrote about her pride and excitement for all the women Lindy Hoppers who are performing together in troupes.  I love watching unpartnered jazz choreography, too.  She linked to some clips that are just rocking – I’ve been a Hotpockets fan for ages.  She writes about the power girl groups have to give female dancers.

These routines remind the audience of the charm and range that female performers can convey when they are their own leads.

That statement is super true and gives me the serious willies.  Do audiences need to be reminded of the charm and range that female Lindy Hoppers can convey? Does partner dancing not allow audiences to see the quality of a female performer? If females are at their best when they are their own leads, how do things go for us when we follow?  Does the existence and popularity of girl groups (as opposed to guy groups) indicate that women are lacking something that Lindy Hop isn’t providing, namely a voice?

It’s wonderful when women perform together.  It’s wonderful when men perform together.  It’s wonderful when men and women perform together.  This idea from that article just sent me for a loop because it speaks to the struggle that I’m having with the idea of the value of women’s creative input in Lindy Hop.

You Broke Lindy Hop

I was accused on Facebook today of suggesting that follows should just do whatever the hell they want and are not obliged to dance with their leads.  It was weird and I didn’t really get it.  I mean, do people really think that a follow is in some kind of rebellion and is no longer dancing with her lead if she initiates a move, changes a move in the middle, or (mercy no!) leads a move? That she’s disrespected her lead so much as to have broken Lindy Hop?  That a follow who is dancing with a lead, but isn’t a FollowBot, is no longer dancing with the lead? It just seems like bullshit that obedience is what I’m agreeing to when I say yes to a dude.

Blurring the lines between leading and following doesn’t require a total amorphous breakdown in what makes Lindy Hop what it is.  The rhythm is still there.  The forms and shapes are still there.  The connection, give and take, and momentum are still there.  The spirit of the dance and the music is still there.  It’s all still there!   But what is added is a shared responsibility for making choices for both dancers.  What is removed are archaic gender roles and limitations on how women can participate in the dance.

Nothing’s broken.

FollowBot

Sort of tangential, but whatever.  To be the best follow you can be, you must only do what the lead tells you.  We tell follows to abandon their ideas about what they think will happen next and to just do what’s being done to them.  We tell them not to make plans because they don’t know what’s going to happen next and they might mess up what the lead plans to do.  Follows can help leads the most, they say, but following exactly what’s being led.  No spangles or spandrels, no variations, backleading or hijacks because all of that is static and prevents the follow from doing exactly what she’s told.  A great follow is one who has cleared away all will from her body so that she can transcend into someone more active who can add style and variations to a lead’s ideas without interupting them – enhance his ideas.

Enter the FollowBot.  Don’t think, just obey.

Here’s where I go tangential.  Gynoids or fembots are all over the place.  ATMs usually have a female voice.  The Star Trek computer has a female voice.  The Japanese make sex robots.  We, as a society, really like sexy female robots.  The female robot does not have her own ideas, she lives to serve man.  The female robot is the ultimate in misogyny in that a woman is turned into an object.  She is literally objectified.   We value women for their appearance and the best women are silent, obedient, and feminine.

Maybe it’s an unfair leap to say that Follows Just Following = Oppressing Women = Mindless Female-Shaped Robots.  But maybe not.

Separate But Equal

A good follow finds space to be creative without affecting the leader.

A bad follow makes decisions that affect both people.

A good lead finds space to be creative without affecting his follow.

A good lead makes decisions that affect both people.

What? If we’re equal, why are the rules different? Why are the limits of how/when a follow can express herself different from the hows/whens of when a lead can express himself?  Follows have more limitations than leads.  Leads can do more than follows.  Not equal. Sorry.

Either we see the inequality in the way men and women are supposed to dance Lindy Hop and accept that we marginalize female dancers and are all okay with that…

…or we change the way we dance with each other to support our ideals that men and women are equal in Lindy Hop by creating equal expectations and opportunities.  Uh… like in real life.

Me

There are no experienced male Lindy Hoppers where I live.  So when I want to dance locally, I often go with my female friends.  My male friends (save one) are not interested in dancing.  My female friends are very beginner.  When I go out dancing here in town, I know that I will have more fun if I lead.  One obvious perk of leading is that I get to dance with my friends! They are learning to follow, as most women do, so I must lead to partner with them.

But the core issue is this: if I follow then I do not have very much fun.  It is not very much fun to FollowBot a beginner lead on the social dance floor.  (I love teaching beginner leads and follows and am always happy to practice, so that is not the issue.)  But if I am a proper follow and follow the rules and dance ‘down’ to a beginner lead, it sucks.  But get this: it only sucks if I follow the rules.  If I step onto the floor with a new leader (or maybe a leader who just does The Swing or something) and I express myself and have fun with my partner and the music and don’t just follow exactly what he leads, and don’t remove my fancy variations, and I do turn myself sometimes, and I do lead a break for both of us, then it’s fun.  I’m not a social idiot, either.  You can see when your partner is nervous/confused/put off.  We both have more fun when I don’t just lay there like a gynoid.

The same thing applies when I’m dancing at my level.  FollowBotting is to a degree just a boring even with an advanced lead.  It’s this wierd combination of, “Hey, lead, entertain me!” and “I am Follow-Bot. I Serve and Enhance.”  My favorite leads to dance with are the guys who WANT to hear what I have to say and expect me to contribute equally.  My super favorite leads to dance with are the ones who can follow.

I’m done for now.  Man, I need to get with MaryX so I can dance it out.

Reflections on Feminism & Follower-focused Events by Gina Helfrich (May 15, 2008)

Building an Inclusive Swing Dance Community by Rik Panganiban (December 20, 2009)

An entry of mine from later this month. I’d forgotten I’d written it: Leads & Follows – Questions. (Sept 21, 2010)

Creative Coloring by Jason Meller (Nov 13, 2010)

Swing Analogies: A Great Follower Is A Proactive Passenger by Bobby White (Dec 21, 2010)

What’s Your Driving Style? by Lindy Hop Variations for Follows (Dec 22, 2010)

A Long Winded Reply by Jason Meller (Dec 22, 2010)

Do You Want Some Clouds With That by Ann Mony (Dec 26, 2010)

Leading & Following, Dancing & Partnership by Gina Helfrich (Jan 2, 2011)

Random Thoughts On Leading and Following by Bobby White (Jan 5, 2011)

Another post of mine about this topic: FollowBots in the LindyVerse (Jan 26, 2011)

lindy hop follows bring THEMSELVES to the dance; lindy hop leaders value thisby DogPossum (Jan 31, 2011)

And the response by Lindy Hop Variations for Follows (Feb 6, 2011)

Bug’s Question of the Day (Feb 16, 2011)

Emily’s Inquiry from me (Feb 16, 2011)

The Ten Reasons Discussion (March 10, 2011)

Why Women Should Wear Heels by Sarah Breck (March 21, 2011)

And the many responses.  (I include this topic on the list because these posts frequently deal with who women are and should be in Lindy Hop and the perceived importance of femininity in following.)

What the Heel? by Apache (March 24, 2011)

Heel Hell by Ann Money (March 25, 2011)

The cult of celebrity by Lindy Hop Variations for Follows (March 31, 2011)

Fuck that shit. I’m not wearing heels by Sam Carroll (April 5, 2011)

Women Leading & Men Following in Lindy Hop (March 23, 2011)

Dance Teachers Shape the Lindy Hop Community (August 10, 2011)

Jacking in the J&J ( December 30, 2011)

Stomping on the Patriarchy – With Big Bad Dancing Shoes! from Got the Blues (January 21, 2012)

Bug’s Question of the Day (February 1, 2012)